Is Anger Getting In The Way Of Your Relationships?
Do you have trouble regulating your emotions? Are you struggling with anger management issues? Maybe you feel on edge with everyone around you, like you’re always about to snap. Or perhaps your anger manifests itself in subtler ways—you find yourself holding grudges, acting resentful, or making passive-aggressive remarks to others.
Anger is like an electrical charge—it needs to jump somewhere. It causes you to feel volatile, out of control, or overly impatient, as though you’re walking around with a lit fuse. You may have emotional outbursts or say things you don’t really mean to people. As a result, others may come to view you in a negative light or judge you based on your anger. In this way, anger can be very isolating, causing your most important relationships to deteriorate.
Conflict is inevitable—the key is knowing how to handle it. When you feel angry, it’s hard to deal with conflict in a way that isn’t destructive. Through counseling, you can learn to navigate tension in your life without letting your anger get the best of you.
Everyone Gets Angry, And Anger Doesn’t Just Mean Yelling And Acting Violently
Many people struggle with anger issues without even realizing it. We tend to think of anger as screaming or acting violently, but anger problems aren’t always obvious—even to those who have them. Being flippant or passive-aggressive or giving others the “silent treatment” are all manifestations of anger that generally aren’t recognized as such. They can keep people locked in a perpetual cycle of conflict and, over time, cause relationships to flounder.
What’s more, sometimes anger is inherited. If you were raised in a household where anger was commonplace, it may seem like an instinctive characteristic of your relationships today. Your partner may find it unsettling if you raise your voice, for instance, but you may find it perfectly natural. For you, perhaps yelling or getting angry was the norm growing up.
The important thing to remember is that pain is what generates anger. Beneath anger there is always a deep emotional wound, and it’s impossible to solve anger issues without getting to the core of what piques that rage. During counseling, I will help you identify the roots of your anger and learn how to manage it in day-to-day life.
Anger Management Therapy Can Help You Achieve Peace In Your Relationships
Anger is designed to protect you. It stems from a very primal protective energy that arises when you feel threatened. Although anger often looks like an aggression, it comes from a place of defense. The pertinent question is: what is that place of defense for you? What makes you go into protective mode? In sessions with me, you have a chance to explore the root of your anger and figure out where your primal protective energy is directed.
I keep my approach to anger management therapy very relaxed and conversational. In the beginning, you and I will get to know each other and look at your personal history together. Oftentimes, traumatic experiences and unhealthy relationships from the past can unconsciously fuel your anger today. Therefore, I want to know if there are any events or chronic situations that make it hard for you to regulate your emotions.
Although I want to explore the root causes of your anger, my approach is also very practical and focused on the present. I will teach you to identify your anger in real time—to see it, feel it, and stop it right as it’s starting to manifest. There may be certain stress responses, such as a racing heart or clenched fists, that arise whenever you feel angry. By paying attention to your physical warning system, you can use your body to signal your brain and keep anger from controlling how you respond to conflict.
Additionally, I want to help you build empathy for others and for yourself. When you’re dealing with anger issues, it’s important not to be too hard on others, but it’s equally vital not to be too hard on yourself. Everyone experiences anger—the key is to keep it from determining your words and actions. To enhance your sense of empathy, I often draw from the “Compassion Model,” a template for understanding how to deal with anger that was created by psychologist and author Steven Stosny.
My ultimate goal is to help you integrate the emotionally-charged part of your brain with the part that is rational, calm, and centered. After all, emotions are not unhealthy—we merely have to balance them with the brain’s thoughtful, objective side. By achieving this balance, you’re not stifling your emotions, but you’re not letting them control your life, either.
I used to teach a six-month anger management program, and I have seen many people who never thought they could conquer their anger rise above it. I want the same for you. By getting to the core of your anger issues and learning to regulate emotions in real time, I believe you can experience emotional stability and achieve peace in your relationships.
You may have some questions about anger management counseling…
I’m afraid to explore anger because it’s so stressful and overpowering.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed talking about your anger. Thankfully, I have lots of experience helping people work through their anger issues without adding stress to their lives. My sessions provide a safe, comfortable environment where you will learn to discuss your anger in a way that does not overwhelm you. Besides, the focal point of therapy is not just discussion—I want to equip you with new skills and strategies for anger management that will simplify your daily life.
I don’t think I have an anger problem, but people say I do.
You may not think you have anger issues, but if you have trouble regulating your emotions, therapy can always help. After all, having an anger problem doesn’t just mean flipping out or breaking things—it also entails being resentful and irritable with others. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you need to be fixed. And even if the people in your life are wrong and you don’t have an anger problem, counseling can still help you control your emotions.
Will my privacy be protected?
My sessions provide you with the opportunity to say whatever is on your mind without any fear of someone divulging your information to others. Everything you say is protected by and subject to HIPAA and other privacy laws.
Learn To Regulate Painful Emotions And Handle Conflict More Effectively
If you want to learn new coping skills for dealing with anger, I would be honored to help you. To begin your journey of healing, you can call 609-316-6696 for a free, 10-to-15-minute phone consultation. You can also contact me via email or my online scheduling system.
Right now, because of COVID-19, all my anger management treatment sessions are conducted by phone or by video online.